Best Of July 2016

1. 
   Swiss Guard Charge Writhing Mass Of Black Tentacles Devouring Pope Francis

   
2. 
   ‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

   
3. 
   Obama Signs Conservation Act To Preserve Nation’s Last Remaining Area Of Common Ground

   
4. 
   Police Chief Says There Just A Few Bad, Deeply Ingrained Prejudices Giving All Cops A Bad Name

   
5. 
   World Leaders Pour Into Washington To Pay Last Respects To Dying Nation

   

1. 
   Dad’s Eyes Well Up At Sight Of Perfectly Packed Cooler

   
2. 
   Woman Who Doesn’t Use Facebook Completely Out Of Touch With Friends’ Prejudices

   
3. 
   Teen Had Absolutely No Say In Becoming Part Of Snapchat Generation

   
4. 
   Middle-Aged Couple Sick Of 31-Year-Old Son Always Trying To Set Them Up With Other Parents

   
5. 
   Man Always Gets Little Rush Out Of Telling People John Lennon Beat Wife

   

1. 
   Investigators: First 48 Hours Most Critical In Locating Missing Children Who Entered Portal To Fantastical World