Believes force should only be used when it is in the interest of U.S. defense contractors

Something that you're, you see, there's, more security, well, here's a plan that, what's interesting, drones

Wears the bullet that killed Osama bin Laden on a chain around her neck

Promises to tear up the Iran deal slower and more theatrically than any other candidate

Advocates boots on the ground, wings in the air, little sailor suits at sea

Confident his total lack of qualifications will once again cause world to fear the United States of America

Pledges to work closely with Iran to reduce nuclear stockpiles by evenly distributing enriched uranium to families across the region

Vows to eschew political correctness when dealing with that raghead King of Ali Baba or whatever